School photo’s
Not that i would usually tackle such a popular institution, but now that my blood has returned to it’s normal temperature i feel compeled to dish out some steam.
Like most parents we look forward to the 15 times yearly school photo coming home, Mrs. Naked Tog always feels compelled to part with an unnecessarily large sum of cash in a bid to buy the ‘top package’ of each of our children, and a group shot to boot, some get sent to grandparents whilst the others linger in the kitchen draw for six months until they get moved into the loft for storage. Whilst that may seem to be just a blatant waste of cash there is a plus, that plus is ‘discount’, theres a healthy brood at our house so when you have a ‘discount for multiple children/sets’ carrot dangled in front of you you usually bite.
So to the point, the school in their ultimate wisdom took it upon themselves to change from a perfectly reasonable; most of the pictures were good enough to buy; photographer who offered that all important ‘carrot’ to one that not only offers no discount but seems to have all the photographic skill of a wet mop, lets hope the schools getting a better commission rate, because someone needs to benefit from this disaster, and i really can’t see it being the parents.
So whats wrong with the pictures then? well lets start at the top with Mollie, i have to admit that Mollies picture is, apart from being poorly framed, OK although in saying that i feel the need to point out that it it absolutely impossible to take a bad picture of Mollie, so they had a foregone conclusion on that one.
Next we come to Thomas, now whilst Thomas can be a bit; OK a lot; of a so and so he can sometimes raise a smile and his previous school photo’s have been good, his picture is a disaster, it looks like he’s 40 foot from the camera; or maybe he shrank at school that day (those in the know will realise that’s probably a ‘thomasism’), and he was sat at just the right angle to make his ears look like a ‘flappy paddle gearbox’, nice.
Eleanor’s next, not usually a problem in front of a camera; and not bad behind it either; Eleanor’s hair is naturally curly but goes to school with her hair tied up, so why i wonder, when the nit nurse has been banned in schools, has someone untied her hair and brushed it straight then told her to fall asleep while someone took her photo.
And lastly we come to Toby, it’s Toby’s fist year at the school so it’s his first ‘school photo’, now Toby much like the others, is far from camera shy and will happily sit and smirk at a camera, but again it seems the school photographer has struck again, he looks less than impressed so much so that he’s not even looking at the camera.
So all in all a quite remarkable disaster meaning to satisfy the grandparents and the kitchen draw I’m going to have to re take them all.